Hard to forget, hard to remember

“Tim, are you sure this is where you live?”

“Positive, but mom won’t recognize me”, the skinny boy replied.

That moment, a woman with scarlet locks and glittering emerald eyes opened the old door.

“How may I help you, officer?”

“Ma’am, I am no officer but simply a chauffeur. I believe Tim here needs you.”

“I’m sorry, but I have no son.”

Tim looked at the old man with eyes saying; I told you so.

“I’m sorry, Tim. I wish I could help you more.”

With tears running down his cheeks, Tim mumbled, “You already have, Oscar. More than you know.”

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29 responses to “Hard to forget, hard to remember

  1. So sad. :( Interesting take on the post — good job!

  2. Very sad. He sounds very grown up – guess he has been through a lot.

    • I guess having a mom with a degenerating memory forces one to grow faster than normal…

  3. Such a sad tale – well done, but sad.

  4. I liked your story, a search for truth and personal history. You explained the troubled look on the boy’s face.
    Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

  5. What?!? Where’s the rest of the story? Waaaaa!
    Great job!
    Here’s my Friday bit:

    http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-drip/

    • It’s times like this I really want to spin off to write a longer short story about it! But I guess if the Friday Fictioneer’s would do that, it’d lose some of its charm. Heading to yours shortly.

  6. I especially like the details you added to make the hidden woman come alive. Nice choices.

    Here’s mine:
    http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-8I

  7. John Hardy Bell

    Sad story. Great execution!

  8. Okay. Sorry. I don’t get it. I don’t think it worked for me. Too many clues and not enough string to tie them together.

    • Exactly what didn’t work for you? I’d love some more details from what you didn’t like so I can improve it next time :) Thanks for reading though

  9. :(
    Så himla beroende framkallande. Ieftermiddags har jag smygit med mitt serietittande. Men det lär väl komma fler avsnitt?
    Stella gör stora framsteg :D Skriver mer om det en dag.

  10. Sad…I wonder if he is really as grown up as he sounds or if the events of his life have forced him to be that way. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

    • I think the situation has forced him to be all grown up, but I also believe that there is an inner child in there longing to come out. I hope Oscar will help him with that.

  11. Madison Woods

    Well now I wonder what Tim is going to do? I hope the chauffeur takes him in. I wonder also why his mom doesn’t remember him. That’s heartbreaking to consider.

    See you again next week!

    • My intention was that the chauffeur takes Tim in, I think they’d make a splendid duo. My intention on the mom was that she suffers from Alzheimers or the like, causing her poor memory.

      Love this Fictioneer’s thing! Read you next week!

  12. Dear Cae,

    See what’s happening? You’re stories are getting better and you are coming into your own. I love it.

    Aloha,

    D.

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/

    • Hello D,

      I can slowly see my progress in my writing, and I love it. I’m incredibly thankful for have been invited. Heading to yours now.

      Cheers,
      Cae

  13. I like that you “saw” the older man as a cop or chauffeur, and that you saw the “train” as a front door. Funny how we all see something different.

    • Actually, I didn’t really see there was a train or what it said on the older man’s hat until I read your comment! I guess we see what our imaginations wants us to see when it comes to this exciting challenge in the Fictioneer’s line :)

  14. I like the first name Oscar in the last paragraph, helped me to get that they’ve been buddying. If I didn’t have that clue, I wouldn’t understand the level of help.

    Only the last paragraph is a difficult read–otherwise, well told and heart wrenching.

    • Thank you for your faithful comments!
      I agree that the last paragraph was a little sloppy, although I am not very sure how I would have written it otherwise.

      //C

  15. It sounds as if the boy has grown up quite a bit on his own. He is not longer a child. Hmm. It makes me wonder… Which I like :) Great job!

    The link to my drabble is here: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/grounds/

    • Thank you very much! I would never have thought that so many would like my contribution this week. Honestly, it felt a little weak in comparison to my previous stories. Oh well, I guess I can only learn from you guys!

      Heading to yours now!

      -C

  16. Interesting take.. as a new twist to the story, this kid could be a con and that lady could really not be his mother!
    Or maybe that’s just twisted me! :D

    Here’s my very late entry this time:
    http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/grow-up-now/

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