Where to begin if not trying to tell you guys about the most eventful months of the year? As 2012 is coming to an end, I figured I can reveal some thoughts that I haven’t revealed when posting. I know I usually don’t do it like this, but it has to be a first time sometime :)
I move in with the Dutchman Dec-11, and start anew.
I also write for the great crew of Friday Fictioneers, something I never thought I was good at, but turns out I really am. I also try to edit pictures and I promise myself to take more pictures of everything (I improved, although I’m not really where I want to be. Not yet.). I’m also out with Marcus and the Dutchman for what would be the last of our last party nights. I remember trying to hook my friend up with countless of cute girls, but he ends up talking business with dudes. This is also a month were I reflect strongly on life and my goals as my beloved grandmother struggles with her cancer. I visit her every day, and it takes tolls on my health and school work. Thinking things through, the Dutchman and I decide to have a baby. Let the trying begin.
My writing for the Fictioneer’s is taking the toll as my schedule gets busier. Studying environmental law seems hard, and I can’t picture myself passing the class. I worry, and so I start planning like a moron, leaving little to no time for anything else than duties. Nothing much really happens this month, except that we keep our baby plans secret.
March – April
Much time is spent doing things together, the Dutchman and I. The science fiction fare is in town, and I’m head over heels for the season 2 premiere of Game of Thrones. Law class are over and I take on animal behavior classes. I also start thinking of life again, and question why I would want a child now. I keep thinking, that if I do it so my grandparents are alive and well to see my children, it ruins the point. I figure, I need to do this for me because I feel ready, not because someone might disappear from my life. And so, we kind of put that on hold… Little did we know that Zoe already existed by the time we decide this. Also, I meet up with one of my dearest friends to find out he’ll be moving to Japan soon. My heart breaks a little, but I’m still very happy for him.
May – June
I start noticing I’m gaining weight, and I keep thinking to myself that I might have been slacking off too much on both exercise and proper food. I get crazy cravings for fruit, and I consume literally kilos of it every week. It occurs to us that I might be prego, but all our tests show up negative so we keep thinking I’m just getting fat. In retrospect, what the hell? I don’t get fat, it’s not in my genes (also I hate unhealthy food). My blog update-rate are crashing and I keep on working.
My brother graduates high school, and we spend a lot of time outside of Malmö.
I turn 26 and people ask me whether I feel old. I say I do, but my age only makes others take me more seriously so I don’t mind. I keep working and I notice how children look at me in a far more curious way than they have before. Some costumers at work even ask if I am expecting a child, but I keep saying no. I didn’t know about it until the end of the month, when I have a strange dream of a baby kicking in my belly. That morning, I get up and take a test. BAM, positive. Some people give me a hard time about it and others embrace it like they just won the lottery. Me, I’m just confused. I make a few phone calls and I need to wait a few weeks before I get a doctor’s appointment to see how far along I am. My belly starts pouting for sure now and I have trouble fitting in my regular clothes.
I’ll continue this tomorrow, this is getting too long now haha.
//c_Cae; 2012 was interesting ;O