Thoughts

I just finished watching last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. For those of you that do not follow, the episode was about balance. The important balance of your profession and your everyday role. It ends with the main character Meredith saying: “Here’s what’s horrifying; what if you can’t give a 100%? Maybe you just have to go back to the beginning, and start all over again.”

Here’s what even more horrifying: those are my exact thoughts every day. Among Meredith’s many thoughts throughout the seasons, this one is probably the one that has stricken me the most. By the end of every day, I try to sum it all up, and I always wind up asking myself; did I do good today? As a mother, as a daughter, as a student?

And everyday, I don’t think I’ve done enough. So I try to do better the next day, and it continues like that day after day. Most of the time I feel like I’m horrible for not being good enough. For example, if I made a really good dinner, but didn’t really focus as much as I’d like on my studies; I would just feel bad.

What feels being left out is my dream. My dream of leaving a great legacy to the world, where the oceans are safe, and our future generations are proud of us. It feels much like that part needs attention, but I am not quite sure how. I wish the answer was here. But on the other hand, maybe I am not ready for it? The oceans needs me though, like I need it. And Zoe needs me more. Mah.

Well, while I try to figure things out, watch this trailer and try to see the documentary too. I know I will, because it raises awareness. Awareness is knowledge, and knowledge is power. Hopefully, I won’t cry as much as I did when I watched The Cove.

//c_Cae; never thought an episode of a sit-com would spin my head this much haha 

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2 responses to “Thoughts

  1. Dear Caely,

    One part of the legacy you leave is your children. Zoe is the first and I think there will be more. Breathe deep, Caely. Time is on your side. You’re doing fine.

    Love you,

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Dearest D,

      What would I do or be, if I didn’t have your wise words to guide me? Thank you, dear friend.

      Love you too,
      Cae

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