An attempt to laugh

I woke up early to make an appointment for my sprained ankle. Trying to get out of my morning dizziness, I browse Instagram. To all the sadness of my being, I learn that the beloved Robin Williams had passed away. I don’t want this post to be filled with sadness, nor do I want it to be filled with personal experiences with depression and all its demons, so I’ll try my best to avoid that.

From the moment I had it confirmed for myself, I immediately started thinking and reading everything in that special voice of his. I tried not to cry, I was gonna wake Zoe soon, and I really didn’t want a crying mother to be the first thing she sees. For her, it’s just another day.

I remembered that I used to make sure to make it home before 3pm every day to catch up with Mork & Mindy. It was my favorite show at the time and this gentle, blue-eyed alien had my heart since day one. I think that’s why I love blue eyes and brown hair. Besides, not even Steve Urkel made straps look as cool as Mork.

A few years passed, Mork & Mindy had long stopped airing on Swedish television.Then, they released Mrs. Doubtfire. It was the very first movie that I was allowed to stay up late and watch. I even remember it was one of those weekends I spent at my aunt’s. Along with my siblings and a few cousins, we’d stay at our aunt’s place to hang out and we even convinced ourselves we were absolutely free from the clutches of our parents. That night, we had to call our parents to ask whether it was alright to stay up until 11pm to finish a movie on TV. We expected a ‘no’. Instead, we spent that night laughing until we were hurting in muscles we didn’t even knew we had. I even remember it was on channel 4, with its annoying 30 minute news break in the middle of a movie. That night, I realized Mrs Doubtfire and Mork was played by the same person. I knew then, I had to watch all his works, and I even got my little brother into it. We probably said something stupid like: “If we ever meet Robin Williams, we’ll ask him to make us Flubber so we could bounce around together” or “Hey, if I ever get a hold of that Genie, I would totally wish more copies of him“. Not sure if this was true, but it definitely wouldn’t surprise me if it was something the two of us would say.

But no matter what character he portrayed, in my eyes, Mork always reflected the real Robin Williams the best. I never met the man, but the impression I got was intense. A funny guy, funnier than anyone I’d ever known before. A lost man, yet a very wise one. I’m trying not to cry as I write this. I probably haven’t cried so much over someone I have never met. Although I cry today, I know that sometime soon, I’ll be laughing at one of his movies. His movies that will last forever. Movies that have set such high standards, the future must give a whole lot more to keep.

Of all the things he ever said, this always got to me. Also, this picture makes him look like Darwin.

“Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students”.

Thank you for sharing you, all of you. Thank you for making you so memorable. But most of all, thank you for still making us laugh. As the Dutchman so poetically put it: Genie, I wish you free.


4 responses to “An attempt to laugh

  1. Dearest Caely,

    You are beautiful in your grief. We have lost a friend. Toast his passing with your tears. “It was a drive by fruiting…”

    Thanks for expressing your love so eloquently.



    • Dearest D,

      I think we all lost a great source of laughter. At least we’re thankful that his works are immortalised.

      Lots of love,

  2. Dear Caely,

    It’s amazing how the life of one person can effect others, isn’t it? And it saddens me to find that one who gave so much joy and happiness was within himself so unhappy.

    I loved Mork and Mindy, too. He was quite the actor. One of my favorites of his, though was Dead Poet’s Society. He had a relatively small part but without saying a word he expressed volumes.

    I echo Doug. We lost someone special and we share tears.

    Love and Shalom,


    PS Hope your ankle’s better.

    • Dear R,

      I know, especially that of a stranger who brought so much joy to others while struggling himself.

      Yes, his part in Dead Poet’s Society is brilliant (I would love to have such a professor one day). Even though I loved his Mork, his role in Good Morning, Vietnam stays with me just a little bit more.


      PS, my ankle is better. thanks for the love <3

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