Where’d the kindness go?

This is ridiculous, but I feel like I need to make a disclaimer here, before I start ranting. Everything written in this post are my personal opinions and observations. It is most definitely not my intention to hurt or disrespect others or their opinions. With that said… 

Putting aside the imminent refugee crisis that we’re currently facing here in Europe, I’ve long reflected on the kindness of others. The kindness and foremost willingness of helping the humans around you. It blows my mind time after time witnessing the inability, or even unwillingness of people.

I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine told me something that to me was horrifying. He had witnessed a girl being assaulted by her male company, and people just stood there. They just watched. They knew it was wrong, yet they did nothing. Just listening to my friend telling this infuriated me. I think that’s how it sparked my train of thoughts of the matter.

Another time, I witnessed someone fainting in the middle of a crowded bus stop. I don’t really remember exactly what happened, but the people around her just bloody stood there in a circle around her like it’d somehow help her. From far away, I hurried over and asked whether an ambulance/medics were called. The looks I saw then, is what I imagine people looked like when they first heard of electricity… Eventually, she got the medical attention she needed, but that reaction from people still baffles me today.

But what really triggered the inspiration for this post, happened on my way home on the bus. A middle aged man with crutches gets on the bus. Having just given up my seat for an elderly lady, I stood in the middle of the walkway between seats, with my numerous bags (just went grocery shopping). Already, I’m stunned that the youngsters on the crowded bus aren’t budging more than their fingers to text. Instead of giving up their seat for this man, they stare down their phones. Next, I’m not sure what happened but I hear a thudding sound as the bus stops. I look around, and I see that this man with crutches has fallen down, and guess what? Nobody moves a bloody muscle. Really? You’re kidding, right? were my first thoughts. He laid there and none of the four people around him moved a muscle. Youngsters were still not moving anything other than their fingers on their phones. I try to push my way through, to no avail. Finally, an old lady gets up from her seat, prompting her much younger neighbour to get up as well. Only then, do people move. At this point, the man had already gotten halfway up and the bus was already moving.

Needless to say, I got pretty mad. I got mad because people seem to be so unwilling to help others. As if they were the only ones there. As if they were the ones that never needed any help. What bothers me more in this case, is that the younger generation seem to be less prone of helping. I can’t help but cursing out loud. Where the hell are we heading?

Before I end up ranting even more, I’d wrap this up. Today’s incident made me realise that it’s not just hostility that is prominent in today’s refugee issue. It’s unwillingness to show the very thing that makes us who we are – humanity. We’re so preoccupied we’re forgetting about one of the most fundamental thing that makes us, us. How would you like to be treated if that was you who fell on that bus? If it was you who was hit in public by someone you thought you could trust? Wouldn’t you wish someone could help you? Not save you, no one can save you but yourself, but help you. Help you get up on your feet so you can return the favour to someone else.

I don’t get it. I really don’t. I don’t get how people can go “Oh, but there’s always someone else that can help. I don’t need to” or “They can go back to where they came from”. What if you’re the only one there to help? What if people had to leave because someone thought of the pathetic idea to bomb someone else’s home and shoot them while they run? It’s like perspective doesn’t matter. It’s like history doesn’t matter because we let it repeat itself. It’s like lives don’t matter. I don’t get it.


Imagine what could be, if we could just open the fuck up.

//c_Cae; I want to find a global solution, but I know change has to start with one…


2 responses to “Where’d the kindness go?

  1. Dear Caely,

    First I’m happy to have you in my life and know there are still people in the world who care. Alas there aren’t more like you.

    Here in the US it’s appalling to me that people forget that many of our ancestors were refugees. Now we negate the verse on the Statue of Liberty, ” “Give me your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,”

    You are so right in everything you’ve written. I wish I could be there to hug you and reassure you that there are still kind people in the world. You’re proof and I’m proud to know you.



    • Dear R,

      Thank you. Thank you for being you, a precious friend I never imagined I could have, had you asked me ten years ago.

      There’s something I forgot to mention in the post, and that’s some of my mom’s friends. They came here as refugees from the Vietnam war, and now they’re making remarks about how “those idiots should go back and not leech the system”. Infuriating, that’s what it is.

      Lots of love and hugs,

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