Tag Archives: birthday

Hi peeps!

It has been a great while since I last posted here. The only reason to that is simply because I was exhausted. After the previous post, I took a solid four weeks to tend to myself. It was the only thing I did whenever I had some free time. I caught up on a few TV series, looked up to the sky and admired the clouds, took naps whenever I wanted and only met with people that had zero expectations of me. It felt great. After that, I rested some more.

As some may know, I celebrated my birthday a little over a week ago. I got everything I ever asked for: great food and great company. On the day itself, we had a simple dinner at my mom’s and I was even served cake (chocolate mousse in case anyone wondered) and Zoe even sang for me. That was the best part. The Friday that followed, I had arranged a dinner with some close friends. We went to a restaurant that fused Mexican with Korean food and it was marvelous. I had a great time and even though I did not ask for gifts, my friends came with them. They know I never want anything other than having a great time with them. Still, they brought me flowers, cute little things like band aids with fish motif, and a Bluetooth speaker. These friends are worth more than their weights in gold, and even though we rarely meet, we remain the same as the last time we met. I love you guys, and I hope you know that.

On a different note, I recently decided to step out of my comfort zone in gaming. Since I started playing video games, I have stuck to role-playing and puzzle games (read Final Fantasy and Tetris). I figured if I wanted to grow as a gamer, and especially if I wanna be able to broadcast a variety of games, I also have to play a variety of games. Thus, when I got my new computer, I hesitated a little bit but ended up buying a first-person shooter game. Now let me tell you how good my aim is. It is about as good as I would most likely miss whatever is in front of me. I didn’t expect to play even at the lowest level, but to my surprise, I learned fast and I actually play decently. Surely, I have a lot to improve at but that’s why we step out of that comfort zone right?

//c_Cae; it’s true what they say, growth happens outside of your comfort zone even if stepping out is intimidating.


Parenting level 4

And so, November passed faster than any other month. The last week of it was spent planning Zoe’s birthday party. People tend to tell you how great it is to have kids and how the little sleep will be compensated by the moments full of laughter. However, no one ever tells you how bloody stressful it is to throw a birthday party for a 4 year old. We only got to throw one for the closest family, and due to lack of space, we couldn’t even invite Zoe’s friends from daycare (yes, the latter part makes me feel bad). The coming years, I am not caving to all the “Oh, we missed it last year so you have to throw one this year” b.s.

It was fun for Zoe and the kids that were there, though. Apart from the “oh no, s/he can’t have my toys”-tantrums Zoe threw every now and then, it was all good for everyone. Everyone except me. I was so tired the day after the party, I have spent the past week at home because I don’t have any social skills left. It was just mentally draining for me to hang out with so many people at the same time in such a small space.

Anyway, I still remember 4 years ago, when my water broke and the Dutchman had barely slept. The cab ride to the hospital was calm, and I remember being thankful for the little traffic there was at 5am. Once we arrived to the hospital, the first snow fell and it was one of the most romantic moments of my life. I couldn’t wait. Who knew it’d take Zoe 14 hours before she decided to rush it all and come see the world?

For the majority of those 14 hours, we actually slept since absolutely nothing happened. Around noon that following day, we decided to let them give me a morphine shot to help me relax because I just couldn’t relax. No kidding, I had a baby I was dying to meet and she just didn’t wanna move out (I really hope she won’t be like this when she grows up lol). Two hours after I get the shot, it all happened very quickly. I still laugh at the fact that the nurses didn’t tell us that if I feel like I need to go to the toilet, I shouldn’t because that would mean the baby is on its way. So, right after I got into the bathroom, the nurses come in and I hear the conversation that the Dutchman and the nurse have. Seconds later, I, for the first time in my life, called for help. I couldn’t get up from the toilet seat no matter how hard I tried. Luckily, I hadn’t locked the door so the Dutchman and the nurse came in to help me up. Those few meters between the toilet seat and the bed felt like a mile. It most definitely felt like the longest walk I had ever had to walk. Once I got to the bed, it all happened very fast. I remember having monitors attached to me, and I remember monitoring my contractions as well. To be honest, the pain was the least of my concerns. I was worried Zoe wasn’t feeling well since my water was murky when it broke.

For moments, I couldn’t hear any of the nurses when they called out to me. All I could hear was the Dutchman’s voice, so he had to convey the nurses’ messages to me. I couldn’t push when I was told to, because all of the sudden, Zoe was in a real hurry to get out. Three pushes later, there she was. Immediately, I was worried because I didn’t hear her cry until what felt like minutes later. Of course, the first thing she did was to pee on me when they put her on my chest. Nice, I love you too, kiddo.

The only regret I have, was that I was too knocked out to ask to see the placenta. It’d be so cool to see it, especially one that I actually grew. I know it sounds gross, but I’m curious haha.

Anyway, we just finished up eating all the cakes and left over food from the party and I’ll gotta say, I’m not sure I want to do this again :P

//c_Cae; can’t believe kiddo is 4….

Going 29

Yay! 29th birthday. I’ll have you know I did absolutely nothing and it felt great.
Eve was here during the weekend and it felt amazing having a girlfriend close. It’s just not the same when all your friends are a good few miles away from you at all times. Anyway, I did nothing but wanted to dedicate a whole post to all my friends.

Thank you for all your wishes!

I miss each and every one of you every day. We might not talk, but that doesn’t mean you don’t mean anything to me. You do. Actually, you mean a lot to me.

And to those who I actually talk to everyday or every now and then, it’s amazing how we keep it all up. Really, it is. I don’t know how we do it, but we do and for that I am immensely grateful. Grateful to have you in my life, grateful for all the laughs and tears we walk through. I’m forever grateful that you’re a part of my story.

Lots of love to all of you.

//c_Cae; back to work!

Recovery and a birthday

I don’t count days anymore. I just know my daily chores and how it feels like it’s been forever since I posted. The past (two?) days I have spent in bed. Luckily, the Dutchman has been home (he works shifts), so Zoe has not been put aside. She never will be, I assure you.This morning, I felt like it was awful for me to waste another day. I remember thinking: This day will get worse without me. I got up, despite an aching back because I overworked it cleaning the whole apartment thoroughly last Friday.

I cleaned because we expected guests. I had planned a little drop-in thing for family and friends to celebrate Zoe’s very first birthday. I really, really cannot believe she has turned one. The attention she got was overwhelming, and now half our living room is filled with her toys. She loves it, and she loved everything about last Saturday so I consider it a ginormous win. Zoe is happy, and her parents were exhausted = successful birthday. I had gotten her a chocolate raspberry cake, and it was divine. I am usually very reluctant to her tasting very sweet things, but I had made a few exceptions. She loved the cake, but she probably did not understand what it was for. She’ll get there.

Reading before bedtime. I had no idea what she said. I'm still not fluent in baby yet.

Reading before bedtime. I had no idea what she said. I’m still not fluent in baby yet.

The cake!

The cake!

"So, why are you guys singing so awkwardly?"

“So, why are you guys singing so awkwardly?”

"Should I touch? No? But, why, it's totally telling me to touch it."

“Should I touch? No? But, why? It’s totally telling me to touch it.”

I don’t really know where I am. I think I’m still in denial. I hate it, but that’s how it works. Hopefully, I can just study away with this. I have a lot on my mind. Things like how interesting physiology is, or how tempted male fruit flies deprived of sex develop physical stress symptoms and die earlier. My mind is full of biology. I would normally rejoice in it, but now I’m just wondering where I put that bottle of cold water. Yes, I am indeed very confused. I wanted to write a follow-up post to my previous one, but then I remembered how much I prefer to smile than to cry. On the other hand, this makes me feel better later, and I just realized I spent half the night studying… I should sleep, but first, allow me to make you guys smile/laugh, too. Check this out:

Never, ever fails to make me laugh. Like they say; it’s funny because it’s true!

//c_Cae; now excuse me, I got a date with my bed~